It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
