How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
