if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
