I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
