well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
