he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
