ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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