it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
