i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
