The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
