they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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