I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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