Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
