so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
So vagazzling was a success
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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