Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
where am i from again
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
