Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
