Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
