Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
