definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
