We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
