Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
