at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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