I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
