addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
