My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
