Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
