Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
