:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
