My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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