guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i would punch a child for taco bell
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
