Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
