weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
