You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
