Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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