check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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