there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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