I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
How does one acquire holy water?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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