hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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