how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
