i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You pole danced in your parka.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
