and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Even my vagina gasped.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
