Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We smell like vodka and hangover
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