smell my finger.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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