My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
