Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
