just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
