The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
