It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
