I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
