What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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